Harry Potter Is Not For Kids
Apparently, that’s true.
It all began with an abused child, growing up sans love, the weird life he led till the prime age of eleven after which he was introduced to a world where all his problems would just vanish with a swish and flick. Or not.
The prime target reader for the series included children in their teens till the fourth book was released. After which there was a sudden outcry and epiphany in the minds of at least a quarter of six billion human beings about the life and times of Harry Potter.
Gradually though, J.K Rowling got into the drift, and the Potter boy began living life. His friends were not just friends anymore, there was an element of risk of being more than just playing with test tubes and broomsticks. Voldemort began threatening worse, swearing came into existence leaded with peer pressure and Malfoy being a bigger pain in thr wrong side of the anatomy. And thus, the series became quite obviously darker.
- Creepy, Dreary, Gloomy: Myrtle Moans and Haunts:
Moaning Myrtle is supposed to be nice and sweet, with a melodic voice, transient to bad and ugly things. Indeed, our favorite author has gone and turned that woman into something creepy that roams the boys bathroom. Children are going to be scared to ever walk into public restrooms for fear of either the dead corpse of a girl lying there somewhere on some dirty chamber pot, or a dead body hovering over them while they pee.
It’s not funny. Kids are scared of these things. Bathrooms are anyway a place where most murders take place. And while you pee?! That’s an incentive.
- Bad Role Model:
He screams, he fumes, he frets. After all, what teenager doesn’t do that? But he could be happy once in a while, I mean there are lots of orphans in the world who are beaten and abused and yet haven’t found their magical exit to heaven. Not to forget the seeing his best friend’s sister behind his back. Courtesy Cracked, “It’s difficult to imagine wanting to help your best friend defeat Voldemort when you know he’ll be celebrating afterward by casting “Disapearro Clothesimo” on your sister.”
- The Bad Blood Boo Hockey:
Isn’t there enough communalism and what not in the world already? There are different kinds of children reading this book. Some innocent remain that way, and others turn into Crabbe and Goyle kind bullies. Muggles? Can’t we just follow a simple uni human race instead of now including even differences in our blood? Is she trying to teach kids things about being racially impure? Is she trying to give birth to some more Hitlers?
- Knock Knock, Who’s There? Murder, I Tell You:
Everyone’s dying. There’s no happy ending. Right from the beginning to the end. Rowling takes you on a journey and makes you love people just to let you know at the end that they’re going to die. Alright, great lesson kids, everyone dies in life. That is definitely the harsh truth. But they don’t have to learn it this way! (Even though I hate kids and fully well think they should learn life the hard way, cut ’em some slack.) And by that, I’m referring to the numerous six year olds who listen to chapters as bedtime stories. “Oh honey, by the way, Cedric’s dead. Good night.”
It’s really not so bad having step parents and siblings. Maybe, just here. Even then, everyone has a heart. But since this is a work of fiction, Rowling gets to party however she wants. TORTURE, woman, TORTURE!
- Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore:
Tell us for once and all, dear Ms Rowling, is he whacked or not?! He was like a grandfather figure to everyone who read the book. And then he went and got himself mysteriously brutally murdered by his man Friday, Severus Snape. And then being declared gay? Is Rowling out of her mind? It’s supposed to be a KID’S book for chrissake. Although, now that you come to think of it, kid should know what being gay is. And maybe, it’s just real fun if you’re partner is Harry Potter.
And that is why they spent all that time together and couldn’t live without each other. Thank goodness, she left out the privacy inhaled portions from the corners of her mind. They might as well just smooch each other and get the hell over with it. Did you see the last movie? The amount of touchy-feely rubbish?
x EdgyShark x