The (Strategically Planned) Bribe
Don’t worry, it’s not in my best interests to become a Plebian and bribe people on a frequency as fast as the Rajdhani Express.
Today, I tried bribing the school security guard, just for the kicks, of course, because of the following reasons:
- Just 30 people were present because of the stupid bandh that Calcutta was apparently facing yet again and we were anyway not having any classes. On top of that, we were being retained within the confines of the small campus for no reason at all, and had absolutely ZILCH to do.
- I’ve been obedient all my life, I want to leave school after having done some mischief at least.
- And, because it just seemed like a fun idea.
So what I did was, slip a fifty rupee note in the guard’s hand and say “Bhaiya, please thoda gate khol dijiye na, bore ho rahe hain school mein.” And all he did was laugh and say, “Nahi nahi, yeh to nahi ho sakta.”To which I added,“Kyun, pachaas kam hai kya?”
I never thought I’d be playing along the hands of corruption 😛 Anyway, I was doing it for fun and was trying to see if he would listen. Which he didn’t. So then I was like, “Accha, theek hai. Aap bahar se ek Thums Up le aaiye.” And he just grinned a little more, and refused. So not bad, at least not everyone’s easily vulnerable to money.
Or maybe that was just too little an amount. In any case, I realised I was under surveillance cameras so I just walked away while putting the money back in my blazer pocket.
Just then the authoritative security guard female walks up to me and goes, “What’s your name, what were you trying to do?”
“Erm, I’m working on a project on corruption and trying to see how many of the staff members are actually immune to this social problem. Why, is there a problem?”
x EdgyShark x