Dear Google Wave People
Starr is crazy. She sent the weirdest application letter to Google Wave and received the very exclusive invitation just like that! So I asked her to send me the letter that I could have put up here and given her recognition through, in return for all the mush that I’ve been feeding to her during recess, but she doesn’t have it.
So here’s my version, with ideas from her whiny letter.
“Dear Google Wave People,
I’m a loser. I have no social life. I have no friends. Also known as a loner and a freak, I have no interests in doing anything whatsoever. I don’t like to read, I don’t like to watch movies, I don’t even know if I’m retarded in the head or not. Maybe my mother dropped me when I was born or something.
Therefore, dear google wave people, this is my last chance to be accepted anywhere. No one likes me, and I’m pretty sure of that because I am living proof of a fourteen year old LOSER.
I don’t even think I’m going to get into a decent community college anywhere, so if you would please send me this exquisite invite via the very powerful internet, I just may have an opportunity to disguise my nonsensical well being and make some (who am I kidding) one friend at least.
Or maybe you would be so kind as to send me google newsletters everyday. I just want to feel like this world wants me too, because as of now, I really don’t think I’m required.
So either you send me that invite within a couple of hours of reading this, or this is as good as a suicide note.
And in that case, goodbye cruel world. I hate you too.”
x EdgyShark x