Reasons I Wouldn’t Date You

It’s been really long since something hip and funky crossed these pages, and all thanks to Bushy, it’s happening again! So without further ado, here go the top ten reasons why I wouldn’t date you (or touch you with a ten foot pole for that matter);

I wouldn’t date you if …

  • Your staple diet consisted of squids and cheese. Or if you used the word squid anyhow more than once a month
  • You think math or accounting is better than roller coaster rides
  • Your underwear is the only thing covering your ass while your jeans sway behind you like a Vera Wang wedding gown trail
  • You have a weird fetish for sniffing things. Except maybe the occasional vicks stuff. Good stuff 😉
  • Your shoes and clothes do not level up to mine. (That might be taking it really high, but then I’m not really plebian, so.) You gotta gimme some competition
  • You made fun of me if I pretend to be Raikkonen behind the wheel.
  • You always always always out-drink me (What’re you, cheap and guzzly?!)
  • You watch Melrose Place (Are you a guy, or what?!)
  • You don’t watch Top Gear or the occasional football (OR me! )
  • You’re not royalty. (I should have mentioned this right on top.)

Head over to the other side of this kaleidoscope right here for more of these 😀

x EdgyShark x


About edgyshark


Posted on March 9, 2011, in Existence. Bookmark the permalink. 13 Comments.

  1. what reasons to avoid…

  2. On the contrary I wouldnt date a guy who din have at least 1 geek bone 😛

  3. I don’t like squid or many things squishy for that matter.
    I am as good at math as monkeys are at staying still whilst eyeing fruits
    I hate low rise jeans
    I’d bet you can’t see me voluntarily sniff things other than those that are green and smoke-able
    if you pretend to be Kimi, i’d pretend to be Massa, egging you on and helping you win
    I promise i won’t, I swear, hic
    What place?
    i am the indian Hammond, except for the whitened teeth and the mild brain damage. I can do mad power slides and diss on my colleagues. Come to think of it, I could be mildly brain damaged.

    Date me?

    • Oh my, a proposal right here ! I feel flattered, but I’d probably have upped my list further by now. You could start by calling me Her Majesty, or using your gmail to hit send on a freshly composed e-mail 😉

  4. I’ve watched almost all of top gear, i watch and play soccer, and i’m really good at handling drunk (and potentially wanton) women. Wonder where that puts me 😛

  5. i ll do all of these which u don’t like and still i ll remain super awesome…. .:D

  6. HAha vera wang wedding dress 😀

  7. Sorry, you were just a couple hours late on the 2 giveaways posted, but please feel free to enter my other giveaways!

  8. hahaha @ outdrink ya and raikkonen …Din’t you just get your licence ?

    Anyway !! Along with Top gear Episodes ..I have a Top gear mug too 😛 howz that ? 😛 lol j/k..

    Very well written 😀 funny !


  1. Pingback: I wouldn’t date you… « DarkCamouflage

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