Shutter Island: Gates Now Open


R@wr-Town was lucky to sense me creep back on Sunday evening while I kept dreading what it would be like once I got here. The first night, it sucked, and I felt helpless as I walked back through F-49, only to see six bees buzzing their wings off next to the tube light. So I spent three hours cleaning up all the dust that had accumulated over the last two months that I wasn’t here, and that took some time off my emotions. I can’t explain it, I began to miss everyone I had been with, in the last few days, and nothing seemed to help at that time.

When you miss someone, you call them; and when you call them, you don’t expect them to throw a ‘I’m busy right now, TTYL’ on your face because that only makes you miss them a HELL lot more. I picked up all the will I had in me the next morning, got dressed and got to class, waiting to meet everyone. Sometimes, things just happen when you least expect them to, and the one person I had probably spent maximum time with last semester, ended up really disappointing me over the vacation, what with no proper birthday wish or even a card for that matter, thinking of the kind of shit I put myself through just to get their day alive and kicking. Well, now we know for sure who’s not celebrating next October, for sure!

In any case, people just began to make each other feel comfortable because at that point, it hit me, that I wasn’t going through all those emotions alone. Everyone was probably bummed to be back, and everyone needed a way back in. Thus, everyone was trying to make the other person feel wanted and wanting at the same time, if you know what I mean. Plus, the one face I was waiting to not encounter never arrived, and my mom BBMed me saying maybe he got scared or started bleeding from the invisible lady parts and ran out of napkins or something. And *I was like* WHOGIVESAFLYINGFUCKANYWAY ?!#D@%$#%!? 😀 (It’s a very heart heart thing. Feel it, don’t comprehend it.) The day went by smoothly because we hit the city and spoke about a lot of different things and I managed to like spending time with new friends who I’d not bothered about the last time. [Seriously, only bother about someone that bothers about you.]

In the night, I kid you not; I got this broadcast saying ‘the best and the worst thing in life is attachment.’ And it just hit me right there; BANG! A shot through the skull; it was so true. But at least I was out of it and the worst was dealt with, right? Anywho, today was a little weird because I realised that no one really asked me why I was so cool with not speaking to the fair one, and since no one did, and I had a speech all ready and dramatised in my head, here’s how it goes:
a) I’ve been spending time trying to get my father out of a law suit.
b) I don’t want to associate with anyone who gives me a hard time and makes me cry all the time.
c) I have health issues. I won’t digress on that subject.
d) And also, IFYOUPUTYOURSTUPIDGIRLFRIENDONTHEPHONEWHILEYOUCROONDRUNKTHENHOWTHEHELLDOYO
UEXPECTMETOTHINKYOUAREAFRIENDWHOWANTSMYWELFARETOOANDWILL*INDEED*DOSOMETHINGTOMAKEMYBIRTHDAYF
UCKINGSPECIALANDRETAINALLTHATIDIDINTHEPASTANDFUCKINGMAKEYOURSTUPIDHEADUNDERSTANDWHATITSLIKE
TOBEINMYSHOESATTHEMOMENT.

Yeah, that’s about it.

Anyway, that’s a whole lot of venting for now. I have two weeks till I get a temporary release pass to Mumbai. I’ll just leave you with one thought; when you see someone’s lonely, don’t leave them. Go up to them, and don’t ask them what’s bothering them. Just be there and help them get out of that dark spot. And they’ll really cherish you for life. That’s why, fair one, I’ll cherish all that there was, but don’t expect me to extend my hand out because I already greeted first. Don’t think I didn’t wait (am waiting still), because I’m always ready to forgive.

As of now, whatever.

x EdgyShark x

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About edgyshark

What?

Posted on January 10, 2012, in Existence. Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. Kind of summarises what I’m going through at the moment, especially the last paragraph. Though maybe what I’m experiencing is on a more tamer level.

    #Life’smanywoes.

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