(كن فيكون kun fa-yakūnu)
I got hurt. Really hurt. And sometimes when that happens, something inside me just shuts off.
Sometimes, it’s really hard to ponder over what has happened and try and figure out what went wrong. Have you ever wondered, that when you’re truly happy and living in the midst of exciting moments, you seldom stop to think, ‘so what went right?’ But why do we think when things go wrong? What is right and what is wrong?
Wrong’s when someone doesn’t give you the reaction you look for? How ambiguous. (Before I break off into more existentialist thoughts, I’m going to step away from the wheel. Can’t do late night brain killing anymore.)
I’m just going to BE. And i’m going to be for myself. I’m my own muse; I don’t need another individual to tell me what I should or shouldn’t do. In any case, when I’m desperate for answers, I’d rather turn to Kafka than to some worthless existence who hasn’t a clue about what he or she may be doing and are just out there throwing useless information away like sales people at a supermarket.
I spent a decent day by myself; I’m trying to be calm. Everyday, at least ten minutes are spent introspecting. I’m beginning to find that a heady mix of praying in all kinds of languages is somehow helping me regain composure. It’s helping me realize I’ll be okay.
Why look for answers within when over thinking only drives you nuts? But how does one even get closure when there are no answers? I’m working on my insecurities.
On another note, I need a fabulous haircut so I can flip and overwhelm. And subsequently find my own posse.
x EdgyShark x