Catch a Fallen Star, Put It In Your Pocket.
Will I forever remain so unsynchronized with my head and all of rationality? Will you accept that about me?
I’m sitting on this half-heartedly constructed rectangular concrete pillar on the terrace, letting my soul wither away in the gentle winter chill. The time calls for nature just about touching dusk; my favourite time of day. I love the light, I love it when the light’s just beginning to say goodbye. I love how the sky craves and turns scarlet, begging the light to not go. As I sit here, allowing the gentle wind to whisper through strands of my hair, I can hear the sky and I can feel how overwhelmed it’s getting. If I quieten my thoughts and squint my eyes in deep concentration, I can almost barely make out how the sky’s being forced to turn orange, and then brown, and then slowly, the clouds sift past.
I smile to myself as shades of indigo seep in like repeated waves of the ocean. The light will be back, I tell the sky. I don’t want the light to go either, but I’ll be patiently waiting because I know I love the light too much and it will learn that.
And maybe this sadistic turn of events makes me happy because I know what it feels like to be reunited. To meet someone after feeling like you’ve been momentarily torn apart; to be told that you’re not. I know that feeling. You make me feel that feeling.
I’m still sitting there, smiling like a fool. There’s vast expanse of land in front of my eyes, just an open canvas. And in all that space, in all that wondrous atmosphere plays a slideshow of images from my memories. I’m navigating through the clouds, and all I can see is you. I see you, and I see smidgens of moments transiently flipping through, but most of all, I see your resplendent aura, gazing into mine. Just a half of these dozen last months, my home, the new city, the missing puzzle pieces, that feel like forever. And every conjecture will be.
And as far back as these images go, I see you. And there is no more. And then there’s a stroke of lightning that lights up the sky. And there’s my rainbow.
And then the stars, they burn. Some even fall to the earth.
You’re so beautiful; too beautiful for words. And I am afraid that if I touch you, then you will shatter. And all I am, will shatter.
Dear God, I ask for strength.
To be and to love so much more than what I think I can. That is all.
x EdgyShark x