Blog Archives

Forgiveness is a Four Letter Word

The difference between once and never is everything.

– Inspired by Locke. My gratitude, Jay. 

Making a mistake is what us humans were born to do. But precaution aside, every mistake binds us deeper into this labyrinth of suffering in which we choose to warp ourselves, with those who provide us with love, shelter, light and even darkness; with those that show us the path unto ourselves, and those that tend to tangle us farther into this thing called an emotion.

We reflect all that we are emotive of; all that is within. Sometimes, this pressure to be and to do leads us to an opening offered, an easy disguise that seems like a plausible getaway; even if for a few moments. How then is it wrong to a fewer times run amok if it leads us ultimately into the right turn?

Mistakes can either help you reform or push you deeper away from your soul. Is it okay then to make a mistake even if it affects not only you but all those around you too? Are you just cheating yourself, your conscience, or even those of your loved ones, those who find their emotions reflective in you? But doesn’t it make sense to make a mistake at your own behest and then face the consequences? Why is it that your mistake leaves several others at the hands of your repercussions?

Only delving further into the labyrinth will tell.

x EdgyShark x


Who’s Sitting Next To You?

Personally, it’s really important for me to know that I have a smartass sitting next to me when I’m doing something worthy. (That includes every moment I’m living, so.) I mean, isn’t it important for you to share the air you’re breathing, temporarily, with someone who has what it takes to make your brain jingle? Either with their looks, appeal or smart talking and thoughts.

Exam week’s on in Rawr-town and every time I go sit to write a paper, I always wonder who’s going to be sitting next to me. Yesterday, we had roll numbers 91 to 170 along with the third years sitting in our room. And really, having a fake cine star sit behind you is really unnerving because he makes you undergo utter nonsense in your head while you’re really trying to concentrate on Thomas Hobbes and the Social Contract Theory. Also, since I was sitting in the first row, it became important for me to show off my paper and make it look like a rainbow so that people around me (and behind me) get all nervous about their bland sheets and lack of salt to sprinkle. 😀 (I know that for a fact because Utsav came to me after and said, wow you’re paper was pretty. Like a pretty meadow. :P)

So anyway, today, I had a smart girl sit next to me, but then looks can be deceiving because she turned out to furtively glance here and there and copy answers off of other people. Really, turned me off. So much so that I finished my paper off and gave it up within an hour of its inception.

Even on flights, it’s always fun to have someone of interest sit next to you. But then how can you expect someone to just begin ranting off and show their non complacency in thinking? It takes a really socially outgoing person to do that, and we’re not all like that, myself included, when I’m busy PMS-ing, at least.

But wouldn’t it be nice if people were all outgoing and talking to each other and getting to know what lay in the other person’s mind? Because yes, according to a social experiment carried out by me, we do have the same thoughts. More on that later.

Yeah well, I’m being as normative as the solution written for the balance of governmental expenditures. I have to deflate the answer sheet tomorrow, during economics, thank you very much 😀

x EdgyShark

A Night Out: But Where?

I don’t know where to go out but I’m all ready and waiting.

I got my money too. Can I go out to eat? Where though? Perhaps buy more clothes? But that doesn’t make sense right now. I’m really confused.

xEdgyShark x

Wherever She May Roam

She carries with her:

Her cute li’l butt.

Cranberry juice. At all times.

An attitude a mile long.


Violette Funk Zimitri.

Pretend alcohol. And that’s about as good as it gets.

A high mind.

Extreme thoughts.

Pictures of you.

x EdgyShark x

Yet Another Awkward Car Situation

You’re probably a group of four or three and after whatever it is that you had to do, you get into the car. So how is it that you’re sitting around in order to avoid an awkward situation?

Imagine there are two people who’re dating, and one other chic who’s just a friend. And it’s the chic’s car. So obviously, she’s going to be the one who’s going to be driving. So duh, the guy’s not going to sit in front with her. The girl is. And the guy sits right at the back, while the chics throw him sarcastic looks in the mirror.

And the next morning, he’s probably going to die of shame if he’s stooopid, because he would want to take the reigns (being steering wheel) and ride the horsie himself.

Or, the couple’s sitting in front and the other chic’s left at the back while the continue with their endearment and such making the circumstance not just awkward but also embarrassing 😛

x EdgyShark x

Dramatic Rescue

You don’t want to know what your finger is capable of feeling like after writing 36 pages of a business studies paper. If you do, well, you can feel my pain. My finger HURTS. And that too, the one that’s the most vulnerable. *Aww* So how could I expect myself to play on a Fender Squier Strat after that?

By the way, band practice was fun 🙂 That garage is really a cool place.

Although, everything’s so infuriating. I see shades of purple everywhere. I’m just so bugged.

And Jinx, I’m sorry but someone stole your jeans from my bag. I don’t believe how cheap people can be. I’d gone to give my exam and when I came back, it was gone and the contents of my bag were strewn everywhere.

I’m going to try and look for it.

They weren’t even insured. (D’affairs etudiez blague). While writing, I realized four out of the trente-six pages were wet. I was assured that I was insured for freight against that and would be receiving compensation in terms of Madame Sen Ghosh not asking me any questions as to whether I *sharked* on my paper.

I ate FOUR huuuge cookies today. If I’m not going to hell then who is?

Somebody do something to this sore finger, typing’s becoming an issue now! I’m not even closely excited about tomorrow. I’m just waiting for Sex And The City tonight which needless to say isn’t even all that great. And there’s no E! News, So You Think You Can Dance has all the shite dancers, I’m already done with today’s dose of Friends, and there wasn’t even any French to brighten up my spirit.

So I’m now taking a “Who Do You End Up With In A Jane Austen Book” quiz on facebook.

The verdict’s out. It’s John Willoughby. I’ve got to read Sense and Sensibility. Soon.

Oh Willoughby, you sneaky li’l thang.

x EdgyShark x

P.S. I don’t know why I said that (@ thang.)

Forrest Berries and Chad Wolf

A whole lot of crooning after and debating about whether Romain Jerome’s classier than Rolex, I fished down some cannelloni *Sin for the day committed* a few puchkas, although they weren’t even worth it, and then just enjoyed the drive back home listening to Carolina Liar.

Tomorrow’ll probably be more productive, so to speak.

x EdgyShark x

The Music Flows Through You

I had nothing to do, (actually I have lots, but no motivation to do it), so I just kind of spent my morning making a 3D version of myself. Which turned out to be pretty cool, and very me, but I’m having problems posting the animation on the blog.

After which it hit me, “Urmika, you’re a freaking intellect oozing <- (almost) -> seventeen year old. Go pay heed to things that *actually* matter.”

So Vora and myself sat discussing people on the basis of the music they listen to. Which actually really does make a hell lot of sense. It was her brain wave really as she started to crystal ball me with her predictions.

All the things I listen to, include:

  • Death Cab for Cutie
  • Carolina Liar
  • (Ex-proactive) Panic! At The Disco
  • Linkin Park
  • Blue Judy, Blue Foundation, System of a Down
  • The White Stripes, Radiohead

Well, you can’t really classify me on the basis of all of this. I guess, out of all the bands mentioned above, Death Cab’s my only real eternal holding. Otherwise I keep listening to things that reach out to me and/or intrigue me a great deal.

At times, I switch to Beethoven’s symphonies, and other great pieces by composers like Yiruma, which by the way, you REALLY should try.

Like Vora and I contemplated, we really can’t/won’t hold out against Rihanna/Chris Brown/Britney Spears kinda people. Or people who listen to U2 for that matter. I don’t know, just not my forte.

This is what the future clairvoyant in Vora said about Syd, our only subject as of now, who’s music tastes include Pink Floyd, GnR, Def Leppard, Frigid Pink, Stillwater, My Chemical Romance, Death Cab, The Killers, Eagles, Dream Theater, RHCP, Enigma, not to forget Jefferson Airplane and Led Zeppelin:

“Oh god. Complex. Hold on to him, thats all I can say. Thats a pretty diverse line-up. Impressive, really. RHCP tells me that he IS a go-getter. The Killers, never really heard them much. Seems to have like festing. Death CAB = Superbly profound, penchant for things not easily available, esoteric tastes, really.”

You tell me, what kind of music do you listen to? Just leave your favourite artists/bands in the “Leave your comments” box, and Vora and I will give you a free insight into your soul in less than no time!


x EdgyShark x

The Dionysian Debacle

I’m aware 90210’s somewhere got that name.

I need right now, some wine (or maybe that’s just too obnoxious, and in that case cranberry juice .. uhh, no.. a long island iced tea or something,) and my own loft/penthouse-ish place.

And I need to drown in Enigma. In case you’re wondering whether I’ve joined forces with the dark side, it’s not the drugs, it’s the music. Lovely, flowy music. (And the dark side merely consists of double choco chip cookies, Angular Momentums and Breitlings like Syd. It’s just sinister when you’re talking about it. Otherwise, it’s like my man Friday thing.)

Also, I began the Percy Jackson series last night. As fifth grade as it sounds, it’s really helping me catch up on my Roman Gods. And there’s ALWAYS room for more information/knowledge. And Dionysus, Zeus’ son, is just sexy. You know, the way he’s described and all. Wine, and hotness and everything.

Death Cab is back in full force. And so’s my drumming. This is what I wanted to tell that woman (mentioned in Numbness:

“Good morning freak woman/band manager lady, I just wanted to tell you that I’m sick of being a part of Spaces Limited because well, it’s more like a commercial unit and nothing else, also I miss Mrs. Biswas, who basically was the definition of an excellence seeker. Also, I’m simply sticking around to not play the drums for you and get nothing but smack criticism, but to prove things to myself. And I’ve come a far way.”

Oh yes, Toxicity’s amazing.

x EdgyShark x

Four Silly Alphabets

“If it makes you happy, it can’t be that bad… If it makes you happy then why the hell are you so sad?”

Melissa Earthridge’s screaming that into my earphones as I type. Actually a certain band called “Wet Wet Wet” inspired this particular post. The soft pop music flowed into my ears as I was just lounging around on the verandah staring thirteen floors below, just hanging around.

In case you’re wondering whatever happened to grunge and indie music, the stuff that flows through my veins all the time, well, I’d plugged in my cousin’s iPod, and she’s a normal kid. Thus the “normal” tunes.

But this is not a battle of the genres of any sort. And even as I type, corny-pop after corny-pop’s still going on. Wait, Flipsyde just came on. I like Flipsyde.

Again, *smacks self for swaying away from the topic*

If you’re like me, into The Doors and Nirvana and Carolina Liar, completely edgy and NON-mush, then you’d probably get disgusted by anything balmy and illogical and would rather pull blithe, absurd faces if people started a conversation on anything related to tear jerking schmaltz. Kudos, to people like us. We’re not harsh, we’re just *not* sentimental at all times.

I have a feeling, I have bipolar disorder, because at times, I comprehensively lose my mind, and get crazy and hyper and would give the best bunny on the planet competition where jumping around’s concerned. And these are the times when I might even blurt out, “OMG! I LOVE YOU!”

Honestly, I don’t mean it. Because to mean it, I would first have to figure out the meaning, where whatever intended’s, concerned. I’ve only ever loved a few things. That are extremely close to me. But apart from that, it’s a flighty word, used in almost every second song, dialogue, book, what not.

And it just creates a mess, like all the time. Wrecks up the different regions of your brain, entangles your wires, disarrays your cells, and basically, creates disorder.

“Falling” into this particular adjective’s more like a trick. Someone probably gambles your aortic pump like Jim Sturgess gambled money on 21. And we all know he cheated.

It causes major ounces of hurt. Even if all you ‘love’ is your little snuggly soft wallaby. Because you know it’s not a real thing, so after a point you’d just get annoyed.

Oh yeah, it gets kinda boring too. Especially for someone like me, I just can’t cope with all kinds of mush and nonsensical talk. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve tried and attempted but today when I was listening to all that irrational, moronic music, that only melodiously speaks about bubblegummy crushes and “Break up with him,”..and/or… “Make it work, stick around,”.. it hit me that I just can’t do that stuff. It’s not the way I roll.

Spontaneity’s my key word. And that’s something that usually gets lost once this word creeps into your existence. Pretending to be someone I’m not is worse than actually admitting to feeling that emotion.

These four letters clubbed together probably exist to remind us that even the strongest of all strong hearted of us can easily be exposed to our weak, vulnerable entities.

However, watch any movie, read any book, every single thing’s inspired by some or the other kind of an inclination towards that single, simple emotion.

You never know what’s gonna happen to you. And you can’t really control these emotions.

It’s just a thought, only a thought.

Love, nevertheless, is noise.

x EdgyShark x