Blog Archives

Assistive Touch

I’ve come to realise that all of life is nothing but a projection of your own thoughts. If you’re over the moon, there are flowers blooming even in the heart of winter, and if you’re gloomy as a grey cloud, then all you see is a vile hand being played.

And the funny thing is, no one will ever know what you’re thinking about, or how you’re thinking about something.

I’m a people-pleaser kind of gal, I go out of my way to do things for the people I consider a part of my life. But it dawned on me that maybe people don’t think so. I’ve probably become so skyrocket-y that if I don’t go all out to do something it’s considered lesser than what I can actually do.

I love the feeling of helping someone out when they need me. (More so, when they don’t!) Only because it makes people smile, and as selfish as that may sound, I like knowing I made someone smile. No deed is ever considered selfless anyway.

But then I guess, I wonder why, not many people really remember the things that one does do for them. People tend to remember what you didn’t do; where you faltered in a step and made a blunder. Penny for your thoughts: how many people do you know that actually harbour this negative approach?

I think we should really take it a notch down and applaud people for the things that they do do for us. The times that they make us smile, and the times that they’ve pulled us out, even if for a millisecond, of the dark times. I think we’d all be much happier then, if we thought the best about each other. Everyone tries really hard. Why would I take the pain to make someone miserable when I spend hours trying to do things to make them think of cherry blossoms? I don’t even know how to spell rvengeege. I’m trying to put my finger on the motive aspect here; I personally, don’t have an ill wishing bone in my body. (Unless you’re harming dogs, I’ll kick your shins.)

It’s not anybody’s business, but it’s just so annoying when you sense disappointment from another human being. Like how does someone deal with that? Where do you help someone believe that things didn’t go as planned, deliberately?

We’re all different people, made so very beautifully differently, and I’d hate to put my heart on comparison with that of anyone else’s. Maybe I’m silly, but there’s the one thing I can do that nobody else can.

I try and see the best in people; I mean it’s one way I can take my mind off all the mean thoughts I’d have towards another. Perhaps that’s my thing. Wouldn’t the world be a better place if we just put on each other’s shoes once a while and liked each other a little more?

Or am I being stupid with this whole garb of actual raw niceness?

I’m no superman. But I’d still like to be appreciated for the red cape I do make an effort to put on.

x EdgyShark x

In Chaos and in Swirls

Remember that there are days full of joy you haven’t even imagined yet. Days full of pain worse than what you’re going through now.

Days of ecstasy and days of numbness.

Today is the oldest you’ve ever been and the most you’ve ever experienced but you must keep the glass half empty for the possibility of a better day.

There’s always a better day around the corner if your eyes are open to see it; if your senses are open to feeling it.

x EdgyShark x

Bee In The Bonnet

Is it just me or is the entire world going through the same exact things as I am? And if we all just let each other know, wouldn’t we feel a little more reassured? Perhaps, it’s just me.

The other day, on a local back home, I was happy. I had a great day that I spent with my best friend. He’d said to me the three words that would light up anyone’s day, he said “Yaayy Yayy YAYY!” I couldn’t wipe the silly grin off of my face and was so oblivious to the world that I almost failed to notice this young lady sitting opposite just glaring out the window frame.

The music kept dancing through my ears and my fingers kept trying to kill time by working mindless apps on my phone but then I finally looked up to see that the world wasn’t at glee with me. That young lady suddenly burst into a fit of emotion and tears streamed down her face. I looked away because I didn’t want to seem nosy.

The train stopped at another station; people walked in, people flowed out. The woman buried her face deep into her palms.

Mystified, I returned to my cellphone screen and thought to myself. How many times have I felt defeated enough to let myself break down on the local to and fro home? I remembered that one day work was so bad and I kept rethinking my decision about studying law and working at a firm and how I cried because I felt stuck. I thought of the times I’d cried out of helplessness even, blaming family on (now what feels like were) insignificant things. I looked up again; the lady was trying her best to hide herself and people around her, although squished into the aisle, seemed absolutely nonchalant. And why wouldn’t they?

That’s when the epiphany arose. Everyone’s got a tough life and we’re selfish enough to think we’re going through the worst.

I fished into my bag for a pack of tissues. There were two left in the pack. ‘Heck,’ I told myself, ‘she needs them more than I do.’ And at least on that day she did.

I offered her the tissues with a smile and mouthed ‘It’s okay,’ and I can bet she was a tad gratified because someone understood, if not what she was going through, then the fact that she was going through something.

Before she could say anything, I got up and went and stood next to the door for my stop. The upbeat music still played through my ears. And then, I was happy. Not because of how my day had unfolded out, but because how this little moment had warped itself into my day.

I was happy that I offered someone the path to a smile.

I was also happy to know that you are the most attractive version of yourself when you’re smiling and the happiness comes from within. Because if it doesn’t, you can’t spread it. So maybe that assuring factor comes from within too. It’s tough, and I’m still practicing, but totally worth it!

Spread the cheer. Make someone smile today! 🙂

x EdgyShark x

Good Life

(كن فيكون kun fa-yakūnu)

I got hurt. Really hurt. And sometimes when that happens, something inside me just shuts off.

Sometimes, it’s really hard to ponder over what has happened and try and figure out what went wrong. Have you ever wondered, that when you’re truly happy and living in the midst of exciting moments, you seldom stop to think, ‘so what went right?’ But why do we think when things go wrong? What is right and what is wrong?

Wrong’s when someone doesn’t give you the reaction you look for? How ambiguous. (Before I break off into more existentialist thoughts, I’m going to step away from the wheel. Can’t do late night brain killing anymore.)

I’m just going to BE. And i’m going to be for myself. I’m my own muse; I don’t need another individual to tell me what I should or shouldn’t do. In any case, when I’m desperate for answers, I’d rather turn to Kafka than to some worthless existence who hasn’t a clue about what he or she may be doing and are just out there throwing useless information away like sales people at a supermarket.

I spent a decent day by myself; I’m trying to be calm. Everyday, at least ten minutes are spent introspecting. I’m beginning to find that a heady mix of praying in all kinds of languages is somehow helping me regain composure. It’s helping me realize I’ll be okay.

Why look for answers within when over thinking only drives you nuts? But how does one even get closure when there are no answers? I’m working on my insecurities.

On another note, I need a fabulous haircut so I can flip and overwhelm. And subsequently find my own posse.

x EdgyShark x

Wear Your Heart On Your Skin

Part of My Things To Do Before I Turn 20 List!

Today I got inked.

It was a pretty scintillating experience, and to begin with, I’d like to let you guys know that it didn’t hurt one bit. I got it done on the nape of my neck, and day before yesterday, my sister got her’s on her collar bone and frankly people who cry during their inking process are probably shamming – if not that then endurance really has different levels for different people.

Anyhow, I’m really happy, because while the artist was working on my skin I realized I’ve come a long way from being scared of needles and screaming like a banshee at EEDF Hospital and scaring Dr. Mal when I was a toddler, to sitting with profound nonchalance as I get a tattoo on my back, and done with my teens.

This was also one of the things I wanted to get done before turning 20, so voila! More posts coming up on the rest of the things I want to accomplish!

x EdgyShark x

P.S Here’s a special shout out to Unnati who not only told me about this super cool artist here, but also stayed with me and darted furtive glances, and refused to make it a big deal while I pretended to clench my teeth. She said it’s a cakewalk and it was. ❤

Quaking Patience In Bits And Pieces

“If we weren’t unanimous about keeping our lives so much in motion, if we could do nothing for once, perhaps a greater silence would interrupt this sadness, this never understanding ourselves and threatening ourselves with death, perhaps the earth is teaching us when everything seems to be dead and then everything is alive.” – Pablo Neruda

The earth shattering, people-stirring, ground shaking earthquake in Japan’s moved the entire world, if not other planets in the galaxy, to a great extent. Suddenly, people are thinking about the 2012 movie and pledging to the grateful dead. And it got me wondering, why does every earthquake take place in Japan? Why does every tsunami or hurricane hit the worst in the Americas?

The reason simply put is this: Because there is no introspection taking place in these countries.

According to almost all kinds of sources available in the world today, Japan and the US are the two countries that have been striving to outdo each other in almost every aspect. The competition began on a personal level and went on defy boundaries on the continents. In terms of economics, social and cultural patterns, and modern technology, the fight has been going on like undefeated warriors in the arenas of the ancient Romans.

No  one wants to stop, no one is willing to put a hold on anything and give a little credit to the other. No matter how many years go by, the two countries will continue to compete and kill.

The Egyptians hold a great amount of glory for their undisputed past; Every other person in India is so well educated in terms of his roots and values if not for knowledge and learning; The reason for vanity in the Europeans is their rich culture and holding on to it all despite all the changes taking place in the world.

At least in these places, even if there is some amount of advancement taking place, people owe it to their forefathers and not jump onto the bandwagon to perfect the creation asap?

What I’m trying to say is that just like Neruda wrote (and I quoted on top)  that people are so obsessed with “being modern” and creating more and more technology that they forget the fact that they control computers and not the other way around. This has been happening the most in countries like Japan and the US.

All kinds of scope for positivity has been lost in a manner that the only kind of emotion people spread onto others is their negative retrospect about things. Plus, it’s easier to share negativity in hopes of shoving it on someone else in the process and trying to forget the bad things existed.

People in these countries do not take time out to worship nature or thank it for what it has done and are facing the green war now. There is no silence; only the buzz of engines and machinery at all times of the day.

People have forgotten what they were in the beginning of time and where they come from. They forget that their only job is to spread love and peace among mankind. When the world ends, all technology will too. But if people survive, they will be living on to the threads of love that they were given by others.

Our planet is probably trying to teach us a lesson by letting us know, that if we do not keep silent on our part, it will not as well. There’s no time being taken out to introspect within and find out the source of happiness from people. Unless people try and look inside their now turned bleak hearts, they will be able to witness the kind of sadness they have been causing themselves due to so much neglect.

Why are people NOW saying Pray For Japan? Why weren’t people praying before? Because they didn’t know the consequences of their acts then, and now they do. Every single time a calamity hits naturally, people begin to understand how important the planet is to us and then with time, soon forget that it can jolly well come back and pinch us right on the nose without us being aware.

The damage is done. The only thing they can hope for now is that the praying brings about some sort of harmony within humanity in a way that people stop trying to achieve more and more all the time. Life is not a big fucking competition, and people need to get that in their heads.

So STOP and listen to your hearts and do something nice for a change. All this vying and negativity is easy to vent out and good once in a while, but in the long run it makes you turn against yourself.

And then there’s really no coming back.

x EdgyShark x

God Is An Entrepreneur

Did you know that long ago, somewhere on the same land that you now tread on, a bunch of rivals got together and decided to create something new, and give something to people? One man stated a theory, another based the same in his language, and a third went on to become a legend like the rest of them.

What they did was simple. Preach a theory to the lesser educated, and create philosophical views and tales that gave people food for thought; because bread was a scarcity back then.

It was a task simple enough; they gave birth to words in the dictionary as we see them today. They made their own religion, profanity, faith and belief and got the rest of the population to follow what they wanted.

Their names were Jesus, Shiv, Allah and the likes.

A billion or more years later, another bunch of people began giving birth to a new kind of belief and faith. They gave rise to technology which slowly gripped the edges of the earth and encircled it through and through. They walked the streets and launched their products, and people willingly listened and bought without any reluctance.

Their names ranged far and wide from Bell and Ramanujan to Gates and Zuckerberg. They created widespread interest in a different kind of religion and at the same time so did others like Floyd and Gandhi.

***

You know why they created something of their own? Because they didn’t want to follow merely what was going on without giving it any thought. How can you claim that something someone created a zillion years ago, forms the basis of your existence today? Isn’t it your turn to voice your opinion and form your own chain of thought? You do not require an agreement in tandem with your thought process from one fourth of the society that you live in. What you want to create will be your own, and if you have the power and strength to go on with it, those who are not able to, will eventually follow your line of thought in this lifetime.

Motivate them to make something of their own except for rattling out words laid down in the scripts. Those texts are there to provide your mind with some feeder, not glue.

It’s up to you.

If they are Gods, so can you be one.

x EdgyShark x

A Beautiful Mind

You come across all kinds of people in life. And then there are some who you really want to know and slowly try and weave your mind across theirs, trying to make them feel your presence as well.

Beauty is in the mind and the only way it can affect a person is by causing a certain sense of acceptance. The mind creates and destroys; emotions, pain and thought.

And the beauty of it all lies within that one soul that helps you to embrace the power that you have created inside, and the power that slowly takes over the surrounding environment.

x EdgyShark x

Super Tramp

Wayne: Outdoorsman. What’s your fascination with all that stuff?
Alex SuperT: I’m going to Alaska.
Wayne: Alaska, Alaska? Or city Alaska? Because they do have markets in Alaska. The city of Alaska. Not in Alaska. In the city of Alaska, they have markets.
Alex SuperT: No, man. Alaska, Alaska. I’m gonna be all the way out there, all the way fucking out there. Just on my own. You know, no fucking watch, no map, no axe, no nothing. No nothing. Just be out there. Just be out there in it. You know, big mountains, rivers, sky, game. Just be out there in it, you know? In the wild.
Wayne: In the wild.
Alex SuperT: Just wild!
Wayne: Yeah. What are you doing when we’re there? Now you’re in the wild, what are we doing?
Alex SuperT: You’re just living, man. You’re just there, in that moment, in that special place and time. Maybe when I get back, I can write a book about my travels.


Wayne: Yeah. Why not?
Alex SuperT: You know, about getting out of this sick society. Society!
Wayne: [coughs] Society! Society!
Alex SuperT: Society, man! You know, society! Cause, you know what I don’t understand? I don’t understand why people, why every fucking person is so bad to each other so fucking often. It doesn’t make sense to me. Judgment. Control. All that, the whole spectrum. Well, it just…
Wayne: What “people” we talking about?
Alex SuperT: You know, parents, hypocrites, politicians, pricks.
Wayne: [taps Chris’ head] This is a mistake. It’s a mistake to get too deep into all that kind of stuff. Alex, you’re a hell of a young guy, a hell of a young guy. But I promise you this. You’re a young guy! Can’t be juggling blood and fire all the time!

x EdgyShark x

For Ever

What is a lifetime?

It is a moment’s happiness strung with another’s pain.

Transient, it lasts till you live it.

One life, that one time.

x EdgyShark x